I wrote about losing everything.

Nothing hurts more than losing people you are close to.

During the challenges I’ve faced over the past few years, some of the loss of those people happened due to toxic chat. I know, because I was told about it or given the clues.

When things are tough and people are having a tough time – especially in a business team – it is natural for people to talk with one another about the tough time they are facing and how another person may be contributing to that, being unfair, etc.

With that chatter, perspective and history is usually lost. But more critically, incorrect views can go unchallenged and misrepresentations can grow a life of their own.

As one of my team expressed unhappiness and referenced some data points last year, I followed up and checked their assertions. The “facts” they threw into an emotional argument were wrong. I never got to correct them before the team member moved on. From there, those “facts” might easily have been repeated (and seemingly were) and poisoned others views. All previous virtues get forgotten in moments like that and the poison spreads.

Griping, white-anting, etc destroys teams. But more than that, it destroys relationships. The poison revises the past and remains the memory.

Rebuilding a business is hard. But friends and team members who were lost are gone forever. Beyond that, it can result in losing people you love and care about. And it did.